I want you to take a moment and breathe. Parenting is beautiful, yes, but it’s also heavy. It’s one of those jobs that doesn’t come with a manual, yet everybody has an opinion on how you should do it. And somewhere between trying to keep up with the house, raise kind and healthy kids, show up in your relationships, and still carve out space for yourself, that guilt starts creeping in. The “am I doing enough?” guilt. The “I should’ve done better” guilt. The “everybody else looks like they have it together but me” guilt. And let’s be real, that guilt will wear you down if you let it. But, what if I told you that parenting without guilt is possible? Not because you’ll suddenly get it all right, but because you’ll learn to shift the story you tell yourself. You’ll learn to honor the fact that you are human, not a machine. You’ll remember that your worth as a mom doesn’t come from perfection, but from love. So let’s talk about it.
The Pressure To Be a Good Mom
Whew, let’s start here because this pressure is loud. From the moment you find out you’re going to be a mother, people start loading expectations on your back. You’re told to breastfeed, but not too long. Go back to work, but don’t be gone too much. Stay home with your kids, but don’t lose yourself. Discipline them, but not too hard. Be gentle, but don’t be too soft. It’s exhausting. And then, as if that isn’t enough, we’ve got social media showing us curated snapshots of “perfect” families. Moms in white kitchens, kids in matching neutral outfits, everyone smiling like they just walked off a magazine cover. You scroll past those pictures while sitting in your car after work, eating cold fries because you don’t have the energy to cook, wondering why your life doesn’t look like that. But here’s the truth, those pictures are just that. Pictures. They don’t show the tantrums, the nights when mama cried in the shower, or the times dinner was cereal. A “good mom” isn’t the one who never struggles, it’s the one who shows up, loves hard, and keeps trying. That’s you. Even on your rough days, you’re still showing up. And that’s enough.
The Rollercoaster of Kids & Teens
If motherhood is a ride, sis, it’s the wildest rollercoaster you’ll ever get on. Some days it feels like pure joy, sticky kisses, little arms wrapped around your neck, your teen randomly saying “I love you.” Those are the moments that make your heart swell. But then there are the days that bring you to your knees. The toddler tantrums in the middle of the store. The tween with the side eye who suddenly thinks you’re clueless. The teen who barely speaks and only comes out of their room to eat. It can feel like you’re failing when they push you away or when nothing you say seems to land. But you’re not failing. That push and pull? It’s part of their growth. Kids are learning independence, emotions, boundaries, all messy, confusing things. And yes, sometimes they’re going to test your patience, your faith, and your last nerve. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you’re parenting through the real, the hard, the beautiful, the unpredictable.
Trying to Be Mom, Wife, and Woman
Now let’s get into this balancing act. Because it’s not just about being a mom, it’s about trying to be a whole woman at the same time. If you’re married or partnered, you know the struggle. You’re expected to pour into your kids all day, and then somehow have enough left to pour into your partner at night. Date nights get replaced with school projects. Conversations about dreams and intimacy turn into quick check-ins about bills, schedules, or who’s grabbing milk on the way home. And somewhere in there, you start missing the version of you that laughed more, flirted more, felt more alive. And if you’re single? The weight can feel even heavier. You don’t always have a tag team partner. You’re the one making the decisions, carrying the worries, and showing up day after day with no breaks. People will tell you “you’re so strong” like it’s a compliment, but sis, sometimes you don’t want to be strong. Sometimes you just want to be held, supported, and seen. Either way, partnered or not, it’s hard to find space for yourself as a woman. But sis, you deserve that space. You are not just “mom.” You are still you.
The Quiet Isolation
Let’s talk about the part that often stays unspoken, parenting can feel lonely. You love your kids deeply, but there are moments when you feel invisible. Friends without kids may drift away because they don’t understand why you can’t just “be spontaneous.” Family might not be nearby or supportive. And when the house is finally quiet at night, you might realize that outside of “Mom,” you don’t even know who sees you anymore. That isolation can be heavy. It can whisper lies that you’re alone in this, that nobody understands, that maybe you’re just not cut out for this. But sis, you are not alone. The truth is, a lot of mothers feel this, but we don’t always talk about it because we think we’ll be judged. That’s why it’s so important to find community, even if it’s just one or two women who get it, who you can text on the hard days, who remind you that you’re not crazy for feeling stretched thin.
Therapy is Not Weakness
I know some of us grew up with the idea that therapy is for people who are “broken.” But let me free you from that lie right now: therapy is for people who are human. Motherhood is layered. It brings up your childhood wounds, your fears, your insecurities, all while demanding more patience and grace than you sometimes have to give. Therapy gives you a safe place to unpack all of that. To say out loud the things you’re scared to admit: that sometimes you feel lost, sometimes you feel resentful, sometimes you don’t even like being a mom in the moment. Therapy holds space for you to be real, without judgment, and helps you find your way back to yourself. It’s not weakness to ask for help. It’s strength. It’s wisdom. It’s love, for yourself, and for your kids, because when you’re healthier, they benefit too.
Life Beyond Parenting
Let me remind you of something. It's something that I tell my clients. You had a name before you were “Mom.” You had passions, hobbies, and dreams before carpools, diapers, and PTA meetings filled your calendar. And you’re allowed to go back to those things. It doesn’t make you selfish. It makes you whole. When you paint, dance, sing, write, or just sit in silence with a glass of wine, you’re not abandoning your kids. You’re modeling for them what it looks like to honor your own life. They need to see you laugh with friends. They need to see you date. They need to see you chasing a dream. That’s how they learn that life is not just about surviving, it’s about thriving. So take that class. Start that business. Go on that trip. Babysitters exist for a reason. And if you’re a single mom with limited help, find those little pockets of joy, even if it’s just a solo walk or thirty minutes with a book. You deserve a life outside of motherhood.
Parenting without guilt doesn’t mean you’ll never question yourself. It doesn’t mean you won’t make mistakes. It means you stop letting guilt be the soundtrack of your life. You are doing enough. Even in your imperfect moments, even on your tired days, even when you feel like you don’t measure up, you are still enough. Your love is shaping your kids more than your mistakes ever will. So tonight, when that guilt tries to creep back in, I want you to whisper to yourself, I am doing the best I can. I am worthy of grace. I am more than enough.
Soft Life Homework Prompt
Grab your journal, a quiet moment, and maybe a cup of tea. Write down your answers to these questions. There is no right or wrong, just your truth.
What’s one area of motherhood where I feel the most guilt?
(Cooking, time, patience, comparing myself, etc.)
Where do I think that guilt comes from: society, family, social media, or my own expectations?
If my best friend came to me with this same guilt, what would I tell her?
(Write that message of compassion back to yourself.)
What’s one small way I can remind myself this week that I am enough?
(Example: setting aside 10 minutes for me, not apologizing for rest, celebrating a small win.)
Who or what helps me feel supported when motherhood feels isolating, and how can I lean into that more?
Soft Life Tip: After writing, close your journal and place your hand on your heart. Say out loud: “I am enough. My love is enough. I release the guilt.”